Owning it in the silence

It’s really fun to be in the brainstorming stage of a dream.

It’s exciting to think of what could be, and it’s even more fun to quit your full-time desk job to pursue it. Some people don’t get it, but others say you’re brave and inspiring and so you keep going. Then things wind down and time goes by and people are silent. You’re faced with the reason you did it in the first place and you either have to own it or fold.  I’m finding that the hardest part is owning it in the silence.

I’ve watched people launch print shops, photography businesses, and clothing companies. I know none of it is simple, but I’ve found myself thinking, At least people understand those things. They see how those things could fit in their lives, so they follow along. They buy a couple things. They support the business owners. And this is where I get stuck because I pump up my thoughts until I’m going nowhere and getting nothing done. I buy into the thought that my life would be easier if… and these thoughts divide me from the people who probably understand best.

It’s true that a lot of people have never heard of life coaching or don’t understand what it is. And that might be because of the thousands of ways that term is being used in the business world these days. A lot of people don’t see how it connects in their lives, so they say things like, that’s cool for you. And they probably mean it, but I hear the reservation in their voice. The that’s not for me belief. And then the silence comes. That’s when it’s hard to own my dream.

I’m realizing how important it is to believe in myself as I navigate this new self-employed, business owner role. This is my dream, so no one is going to do it for me if I decide to fold all my cards one day. I can’t rely on other people to be the fuel of my fire because it’s not their dream. They honestly don’t care that much. I care way more than they do, and that’s how it should be. I can’t fault them for that, and I can’t ask them to care as much as I do.

Creating a business from scratch is hard. Turning the brainstorm sessions into action items that actually get done is tough. And it’s amazing how God meets me in the silence. The most beautiful part of dreaming is when things just feel right. When intuition meets reality and it is so beautiful. I’ve learned a lot about myself in the last few years — about how I’m wired and how my heart beats for specific things. I don’t think this is an accident. I don’t think it’s just happenstance. When things get silence, I come back to that. I come back to the heart and soul that God created and gave me. And the strong spirit that’s alive in me.

So when I put myself out there, when I tell people what I’m doing, and when I ask questions on social media about coaching, I know that I am not the outcome of these things. I am a woman who has a dream that’s worth trying out, whether or not it lasts five years or the rest of my life. I have things to offer this world and God wants me to be a part of things here. He wants me to join him in loving the world, and helping people see the strength that He’s given them inside of themselves. That He thought it was an amazing idea to create them, so beautiful and true. So when the world gives me silence, I’ll know that God is rooting me on. He’s given me strength within myself to take the next steps and keep this heart of mine alive, connecting the dreaming with the doing. 

Things might shift and move, and the brainstorming might take a slight turn… but I’ll always have to come back to myself. I’ll always have to own it in the silence.