I had every intention to start the year off running. I’ve been sitting on a “New Year” post for over a week now. It went from my thoughts on resolutions to a word of the year to reflecting on 2014. My thoughts felt unfocused and from a place of, “I should write about this” rather than a desire to share what’s on my heart and mind. I’m learning that sometimes my intentions aren’t connected to what’s really going on. So instead of running, I’ve just been trying to pick out some tennis shoes the last couple of days.
It’s January 3rd and I’m equal parts unprepared and excited. A mixture of anxiety and gratitude and peace. I don’t have a clear list of goals and I’m not sure about a lot of the details. And truly… I’m doing just fine.
If there’s something I’ve learned from everyone’s blog posts and Instagram captions this week, it’s that we are all so different and we need different things.
My husband gave me a giving key for Christmas that has “be true” engraved on it. It brought tears to my eyes, and it’s perfect for this season. I’ve been trying to think of a “word of the year” because everyone’s doing it and it sounds like a lovely idea. But I realized that I don’t like to think of the year as a whole when it comes to words that guide me and inspire me because seasons change… so I started thinking of the first few months of 2015, and the words chose me. The key says “be true” and that’s what I’m rolling with right now. Be true to who I am, be true to who God made me to be, and be rooted in the truth of God’s promises. When I’m nervous about something, comparing myself to others, or worried about the details, I remember the key around my neck. I just know if I’m true to who I am and what God says is true, it will work out. Everything will be okay.
I’m entering a new season of working as a consultant, tackling new projects, and starting certification to become a life coach. There’s a lot of uncertainty, but I feel an overwhelming sense of security. Sure, I have my moments of wondering if the numbers will add up and if I’ll actually be good at all of these things, but peace always comes back. For me, this is directly correlated to the amount of time I spend in quiet moments, meditating on God’s word, and journaling out my thoughts and emotions. These things connect me to my true self and help me understand who I am. They’re a game changer when it comes to my actions that follow. When I don’t do these things, I often act from an insecure place, tangled in shame I haven’t processed or the pressure I feel to be a certain way.
Being true in this season means taking plenty of breaks, pausing to process, and continuing to experience life through words. It means telling the truth more often, engaging in vulnerability in an effort to build honest relationships. It means spending more time on the things that make me whole and continuing to create a life that aligns with my values. Less me, more Jesus. It means clinging to the things I believe are truth: God loves me, I am not on accident, my life is soaked by grace, everyone is golden, and we are not the things we accomplish.
I don’t know what you do to welcome the new year. I don’t know if you set goals, decide on a word, let things go, or don’t do anything at all. But I hope you find peace in whatever you do.